I have been trying to take a look at my life lately. Maybe I am having a midlife crisis. I don't know. But it might be due to all the changes going on in my life as well. Anyway I have been struggling lately with a lot of different things. Some extremely difficult some horrible. As many know my family and I are moving after 11 years in the same home. The physical process is nothing compared to the emotional. I feel like I have failed my family. I feel like I have let down everyone around me. Since early 2008 I feel like nothing has gone right. Things just started going bad and seemed to get worse. We have I believe found a new home. But it is smaller than the home we are in. The home we are in was getting too small so things may just get harder. I have been trying to get back to school to finish my degree. But I am running into financial problems with that as well. So I am forced to take a job that is below my ability and the pay is below what my family needs. So I feel like I am in a tough cycle that I can't get out of anytime soon. The frustration is just getting to me more and more each day. It is starting to have an effect on my family as well. I have put the weight I lost this year back on. So I have to deal with that too. The heart condition I have been dealing with for many years is getting worse. However some good news the doctors have at least identified the problem and we can start working to correct it. I am trying very hard to see the the light at the end of the tunnel but sadly I have not seen anything but darkness.
-John Valdez
You will always have your family in this struggle. Plus me! Glad to see you found another creative outlet. :-)
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