One Elect

I stand on the precipice no more steps to take. Directionless, and unclear, as a squire with no knight to serve, as a Lord in a bedazzled kirtle, and no maiden to entertain.

Her bastions of heavy booted, and overinduldged, phantoms of the dark, cross the rude bridge with but one task, my end. But I have too long been paralyzed, and will no longer knee at her altar of false desires.

She is an artificer, of deceit and can daily dun her followers until their purses are empty as the seventh daughter of the Atlas. Her melodious disdain for her lovers will forever be their Achilles heel.

They as I left with but one elect, death or endless torment. I refuse to return to her bed, where love grows spector thin and dies. Instead I bound into the abyss marking my birth not with a gentle splash but with a song.

-Johnny V.

Adios

Farewell
my sweet
delicate muse. Gently may you
pass thru
the guilded threshold of
devotion.

While sunk in awe
the old priest
charms the
chalice of depravity.
And l,
jostled
unkind
and seethed in damp solitude.

Forced
beyond
the true
vertical to renounce
the duty saddled
harp
of the homebound
sailor.

She
can grace
those
forced to shame
their wit
with muteness.
My heart
torn
just a sliver
to the
aged
requiem
as we drown
inside the
river of
hinterland.

-Johnny V.

Havoc Unleashed

Remain steadfast/ upon/ the wind/swept cliffs.
Raise high/ your/ coiled fist/ to his rage/ fear not his anger.
Despite his power/ You forever remain/ his single/ prideful creation.
He will compel/ his unwavering angels to bow/ before thee.
Let loose/of your embattled/ courage.

He is/ forever /a content/ and forgiving God. Be you / saint / or sinner /so surrender.
Allow /even your / separation /from his scented rose /as you kiss /the colored cup /of romance.

We /spend but an instant /speaking to the midnight sun /caressing /the delicate /morning blossoms. Therefore /drink greedily /the wine of life. Turn your back /toward the bruised /dark abyss. And /unleash havoc /upon the train station /of deceit.

-Johnny V.

Carmen's Eyes

Whence the midnight stars have lost their summer burn and are but feigning, turn they to Carmen's eyes.

She dances in the square, her brocade muslin captures the strength of all in her space. Her delightful toes do but lightly caress the ground as she floats upon the air.

Whence the snow laid peaks crave the long forgotten summer sun to touch their frozen souls, turn they to Carmen's eyes.

Her breathe can at once forgive a demon's curse. With a gentle smile all is banished but the warmest breeze. Her heart abundant and forgiving can bring serenity to all who witness.

Blessed be he who she holds to her breast for tis he and he alone who will be forever content in the quietness of her spirit.

-Johnny V.

Love's Walk

We strode thru the tall grass hand in hand, our fears distant and forgotten wounds. The winds of heaven blow and let the mountains kiss the clouds as they hover past.

We walk past trees dashed with pearls of morning dew. The fragrant rosebuds float serenely upon warm bereaved and constant wind.

Her eyes loving and belied with compassion,  as they give flight to featherless birds. Their strength  walks quietly across the balance beam of faith.

The rain swelled rivers carelessly seaward creep. Resting atop the soiled gardens and cobwebbed thrones, of desires long unsavored.

-Johnny V.

Heartache's March

Her lies are tainted with flecks of gold, her voice as hollow as the armor of a defeated knight. He hears only lyrical truth, and honey scented words.

Her touch grizzled and calloused, her eyes dark, empty, and obscure. He sees green pools of delight, and feels the roll of silk upon his flesh.

For men far and wide know of her deception, yet powerless to reject her wiles. She can bring only pain and heartache, but still they seek her spirit.

They know the pain will be monstrous. Yet frozen and stifled are they all from retreat. So onward to heartache they march.

-Johnny V.

His Stride

Her slumber ends with her soul in fragile delight. Her dreams contained fair haired minstrels singing of young gods. Fierce, young gods wringing their hands with doubt.

Twas but a fortnight since her prideful lover had at long last vanquished her confident foe. Now trapped in constant silent sleep, beneath the dark and hallowed pillars of sordid pilgrims.

Her beautiful paleness calling to glossy bees. Still defending an inward nuptial mirth. She moves as doth a lovely maid, upon the skirts of a charmed and pious magnificence.

At last she spies his careless stride, taunting the casket of a gruesome death. He arrives like a phantom of lucid jest. His haughty and imputed pomp, can leave even cupid afright. Alas she waits for her balmy companion, perchance to grant her one vague glance. He ascends the rope of hope with mighty strife, bloody knife askew. She bathed in her zenith of joy, leaving her squalid doom, alone to weep.

-Johnny V.

His Bliss

He spied her from across the crowded dance floor. Yet he saw not a soul but her. He heard tales of her beauty and realized instantly they did little to describe what he was gazing upon.

Her care not attitude only made his desire deepen. His feet frozen, nailed to the floor. He had to speak to her, if he did nothing more. He had to speak, just to hear her voice.

He glided across the floor passing the dancers as if they were standing still. Finally he was in her edifice, the scent of lilacs filled his being. She turned, her hair the color of ripe wheat laid on shoulder as gentle as a butterfly's wing.

He swallowed hard, the beads of nerves rolling down his face. Her eyes met his, they held him spellbound. Her gentle smile told him his question was ok, and wanted. He cleared his throat and with shy tongue he spoke.

-Johnny V

Lazy Sunday

Just relaxing watching the final season of Dexter, love this show.
Later today going to watch a performance of the nutcracker. There is nothing as beautiful as a ballerina. Not a big fan of the story. But can watch the dancing all day.

-Johnny V.

The Dawn

As the Dawn breeches the calm horizon her fire is felt by all. Her fury feared thru the ages. Ah, but I alone understand her true nature.

Her soft seductive soul, the quiet smile, where on the calm sea she kisses the morning sailors. For this is the Dawn that I alone seem to see, that only my vision perceives above all.

The frightened baby girl she keeps hidden beneath a crusty bitch exterior. Her soulful eyes yearning for acceptance in a world too cold to care.

Therefore, she my gentle companion, will hold my heart and enrich my.spirit far beyond my final breath.

- Johnny V.

Honey

She steps through the doorway her beauty at once terrifying and  unbound.The list of souls she will conquer tonight make themselves known, as they scurry to her. Fighting amongst each other for the tiniest scent of her false affection.

As she glides across the room she mimickes a calm dove-footed angel. Then spies her latest victim. He is holding her drink as she commanded. She waits to be noticed, as she prefers to be the single object of his desire.

She refuses to see her past suitors, whom she used then forgot. They, left homeless, and heartbroken like smoldering, disavowed children. Longing for a destiny bubbling with honey.

-Johnny V.

Draped In Blue

Draped in blue / she is calm / and quiet / as the morning sky. In the dry / desert sun / she stays / drunk with nectar.
When cold / west winds / doth blow / her nighttingale / reveals celestial truths.

She is lofty / even as / the June sunbeams / fall upon the seashore .
She holds / her stammering tongued / suitors / silent at the door / of faith.

The queen's hand / befalls the drowsy / wreaths / yet ungathered.
As an angel / she / remains my sole / source of hope / as / she dances / on the breath / of joy.

- Johnny V.

Regret

He enters a world
still green with indulgence.
Ignorant of its thorny
assassin
hidden in the intoxicated
mist.
He begs to be freed from her brazen lust and envy.

Still
drawn to her alabaster desires
he
regrets
that still he must partake
of her
polished tumor of malice.

She remains steeped in falsehood
by a comely house of imprisoned men
yet defiled by solitude
she insists on
playing the
wise
sage
to the wine sipping
knaves

Strong men with souls above all doubt
once beloved are
by her forced
upon their
sickbeds

For it is her
deceitful pendulum
which enslaves
mouldy
men
once redeemed by
quality.

-Johnny V.

Click

The black silence is broken only by the click of metal against the empty chamber. The cold, steel muzzle still pressed to my temple, with no conclusion. For God will not allow the destruction of his greatest creation.

I curse my creator, for it is he who has brought her into my world. Raging loudly, like an irresponsible fetus.

I pull her pillow closer which no longer  cradles her gentle head, nor sented of perfume and roses. But cold and stale with the aroma of rancid butter.

Beyond the window, where she once walked among the single grass, perking its ear to hear her sad story. Now empty, save the worrisome wind bringing the empty memories of lovers past.

-Johnny V

Red

She glides like a warm summer breeze, thru her palace of endless color. Her beauty growing deeper with each passing hue.

Her deep red hair the envy of all tumbles far past her gentle waist. Her body now amend is no longer her prison.

Her beauty is known beyond the stars, that even the moon rages in resentment. As she walks beneath the trees the wind shakes loose it's whispered desires.

His love for her releases his darkest passion. He speaks and her name drips from his tongue like honey.

-Johnny V.

Her Empty Embrace

Endless days spent attempting to caress her restless nights. But twas not meant to be. For each moment victory was near, another day would surrender yet again to a darkness unknown.

As blackness descends upon me I struggle to love, but it's held at bay. No longer will she grant me access to her precious thoughts. The sounds of my heart will turn black in her embrace.

Fooled into believing my love for her was accepted and admired. Instead left wanting attention like the clumsy drawings of a forgotten child. Where a simple breeze will carry it away never seen again.

My heart battered and care worn, tossed aside a slave to the elements. Spending the rest of forever lost in a neglected graveyard. Alas the carelessness of her departure only endearing her more to my need.

-Johnny V.

The Purge

Okay been watching and talking about scary movies lately. But just saw a movie that terrified me deeply. Watched The Purge. It scared me so deeply because it's something I can truly see happening.

The way things are going. How big corporations are beginning to control congress, banks, and the media. How the NRA is pushing fear and that our only solution is guns, guns, and more guns. Also trying to convince us all that the horrible evil people are out there. Waiting just around the corner to get you and kill your loved ones.

Seeing how in this film there are those who deserve to be a part of America and those who don't. This belief that the only reason a person is homeless or poor it's their fault and they need to be expunged. This thinking is what will bring down this nation not terrorists or socialism.

The Voices

The pain ignites my brain, and pierces my heart. I curse the endless battle between mind and soul. The cries grow deeper and stronger, I am helpless to decline, instantly I rise damp from the night's heat. My scream of horror is lost in the dark empty room.

I pull aside the bed curtains. The unbearable pain again brutally reminds me of its presence. The cries grow louder with each careful step. I reach the desk and sit each drag on the floor echoes through the room, and my fearful head.

I feel for the small, sulfur stick. As it glides across the wood the spark quickly turns to a small flame which brightens the lonely room.
I touch it to the candle which has long ago passed its usefulness. I free the quill from its wet home.

The first droplet of black is absorbed into the smooth white sheet. It is then and then alone that the deadly and powerful screaming grows quiet.

-Johnny V.

America

Do you ever get the feeling that America is the Duck Dynasty, Beverly Hillbillies of the world? We by pure luck and some slight gumption fell into amazing riches, power, and influence.

People looking to and watching us yet we have no Fucking clue what we are doing. The biggest difference here is that many here believe that just because of that luck we somehow deserve our situation and that we really are better than everyone else.

I know that many will prove my point by yelling at me telling me how lucky I am and if I don't like it I should just get out. But see I never said I didn't love my country. But we are at a crossroads now where we need to drop our arrogance, and understand that we are not perfect. We need to accept our faults and weaknesses before we can fix them. Otherwise we will become a third class nation still acting like we are in charge.

Angel

Why, she asks why? Trying to hide her fear with pride. But the silence from her protector was deafening.

Stubbornness lifts her to her feet. She is surprised that she is as tall as the woman who once towered above her.

Why she pleads. Her salty tears having begun long ago, for she new this day would come.

The beautiful woman sighed and allowed her wings to take their full breadth. The girl felt the blocking of the sun.

Isabella this is your time. It comes for us all. Now go forth and take pride in your task.

Isabella allowed her wings to open. Noticing for the first time that they were larger and stronger than her mentor.

She leapt from the secret spot. And with her single push of faith a new guardian was released.

-Johnny V.

Whispers of Silk

Her beauty, on its own, could bring rulers down off their golden thrones.

But, mingled with her cold deceit, she tempts revolutionaries to deliver the heads of emperors on silver slavers.

She long ago mastered the ability to isolate her defenders to wage her private wars.

Her voice is as temperate whispers of silk lifted from the dress-maker's pulpit.

Shield against her charm, for her soul is ice and incapable of giving credence to true devotion.

Stand prudent, her tears are not trustworthy, but merely calculated weapons to harmonize the order of battles.

-Johnny V.

Dust

I stare into my destructive past, I rehash a history of tasting the dust but never the savor of answered prayers.

My yet unborn dreams simmer in the fertile soil just beneath the blackened rose, but offer little joy.

Love passes thru barren, strident veins forever will betray my withering heart. The infection of denial feasting upon the flesh of my sanity.

The pyre of hope ignigites, passion is turned to smoke above the trees. Desire, blackened with soot takes wing and her black fragments  sore to their untimely end.

The frigidness of death will come for us all. Some she takes quickly without a ripple.

Yet for those whom she favors, her touch Is less tender, the end comes with torment and scintillation.

-Johnny V.

Reunion

I remove my thick cloak, wet with prideful tears. My shoulders weak, and heavy from nights of loneliness.

My face is dark, and stained with worry, my beard long, thick and untouched.

My skin hardened and experienced, my smile confused, from a thousand days of travel.

I stand, my once powerful arms opened to your doubtful gaze.

The moment you spy my deep dark soulful eyes you know my soul.

You step into my familiar embrace. Our aching hearts healed and combined. Your tear dashed face buried in my broad chest.

"Daddy!"

-Johnny V.

Jennifer's Beauty

Her long, red locks cascade down her shoulders like a cool mountain stream.

Her eyes reveal a troubled yet gentle spirit. She has a charm which demands attention.

She smiles and the sun's jealousy is forced upon the world. For its shine is at last bested.

Her beauty rests in her soul like a gentle spring rain. Leaving the joy and sparkle of a morning dew.

Her soft delicate feet leave marks in the sand visible only to the gulls as they pass across the ocean.

-Johnny V.

Forgiveness

She was quick to appoint me the sole trustee of her false needs.

I yearned for her delicate breath, long after she was disposed to relinquish.

I clung to her, as hopelessly as the final leaf in a cold autumn wind.

She, in the end stole my dearest felicity, and carried it off in her tattered valise of empty dreams.

I sink into the seductive melancholy resignation of what little exists.

What once held the sweet scent of lilacs, now raw with the stale stench of unanswered prayers.

Far too many times she cut her name into my battleworn heart.

Still my joy remains, for within the caverns of love there exist no sin beyond forgiveness.

-Johnny V.

Thief of Innocence

Her beauty is a warm mist on a cold winter's night, kissing the yet frozen petals of an unblemished flower.

For she alone can understand the softness required to bring forth the luxury buried beneath.

He is but the thief of her innocence, knowing not the damage yet to come.

So he sends out his strength to carry her across the barren tundra.

The hunger needed to bring forth her flower is far beyond his essence.

So he waits for love to take him to his ultimate end.

Basking forever in the shadow of unkempt pain.

-Johnny V.

River

The fridgid currents accept the tiny tokens of her false love like needy and damaged children.

As the ripples run from me so too I believe do my memories of her.

My tragic soul understands that she has blistered me so deeply there will be no return.

No place will I crawl to escape the memory of her.

Like newly formed tears my dreams tumble from my being.

I hopelessly lie to my heart that one day the hurt will cease, and the torment will end.

-Johnny V.

Dirty Dangle

The silky, white, arch is visible just above the soft leather. His attention in an instant is aroused.

A slight nudge and the strap breaks its hold. His interest grows stiff.

Allowing her spiked neighbor to hover just above the ground. It is he knows the point of no return.

The plump digits balance the pointed front line. He licks his lips in anticipation.

From across the room he hopes it will tumble to the floor.

-Johnny V.

Anniversary

August 21, 1993 the most beautiful and amazing woman I've ever known said "I do." I was shocked when I realized she was talking about me.

I am an annoying, bitter, moody, dark, and silly man. I am a seriously incurable flirt, loud, opinionated, offensive, lude little man. For some reason she puts up with it all and still loves me unconditionally and completely.

I am eternally grateful and thank God daily. I love you Princess thank you for loving me. This poem is for you.

HER SHADOW

The shadow of her eyes caresses my soul.

The shadow of her smile is the laughter of my spirit.

The shadow of her courage is the fuel of my passion.

The shadow of her love is my single sanctuary.

The shadow oh her desires consumes my flesh.

The shadow of her respect is boundless.

The shadow of her eyes caresses my very soul.

-Johnny V.

Empty

The sounds of the blackness fill my eyes.

The darkest colors shout loudly inside my head.

I cry out but my voice quickly sinks into the vastness.

My descent into the emptiness is hastened by my sorrow.

The darkness envelopes me as my soul grows green from the cold.

The thick damp weakens the knowledge of all that I hold dear.

-Johnny V.

Carmen's Shadows

The shadow of her eyes caresses my soul.

The shadow of her smile is the laughter of my spirit.

The shadow of her courage is the fuel of my passion.

The shadow of her love is my single sanctuary.

The shadow oh her desires consumes my flesh.

The shadow of her respect is boundless.

The shadow of her eyes caresses my very soul.

-Johnny V.

Her Memory

In her presence I grasp my reasoning.

Away from her I am but a mislaid soul.

The mask I wear fools no eyes. My pain is my essence.

I have placed her memory upon an unreachable shelf many times.

My desire that it will stay there is strong, but I fear not strong enough.

-Johnny V.

My baby girl

The 29th my daughter will turn 14. Where did the time go? I still remember when she would run into my arms and say "I love you Daddy!" She is becoming a compassionate and beautiful young lady. Both inside and out. Sometimes when I see her she is so pretty it makes my heart ache.

Although she is very much like me in that she is stubborn, witty, very pig headed, and spiteful. She is also like her mother. Warm, special, compassionate, and kind. I hope she keeps all of that with her. I am happy and deeply proud to call her my little fluffy pancakes. Daddy loves you.

-Johnny V.

Her Permanent Effects

Her delicate grace and deceitful charm have at last lost their power over my charred soul.

Yet her beauty lingers like the lasting flavor of sweetened rum on my pallet.

My ship is stronger and confident as I steer upon the calm steely ocean.

But her sails still desire the raging, and dangerous wind swept waves of the sea's glorious storm.

Undamaged and polished shores will replete my future voyages.

The heart will perpetually dream stilly of the secret and viperous shores she and I lightly strolled.

-Johnny V.

His Darkened Shell

Her cruel and bitter lies were masked with the sweetest honey.

She craved diligence from all in her presence, but still forsake d the pleas for her's from others.

Like a damaged equine in blinders he noticed not her deceit.

Therefore his addiction to her grace was placed above all else.

He did not feel the withering of his steadiness, until he was required to stand alone.

His clamber from the depths of despair persisted deeper than his slow tumble from dignity.

Buried beneath tear-stained eyes he can at last understand his journey's end.

For at long last the ache of loving her is far greater than the pain of life without.

-Johnny V.

Promises

I own no comfort in his raised hands and holy staff.

My queries have gone unserviced far too long, and no longer can I accept his guidance.

Silence from a God upon a throne of majesty can only sadden and offend a man with a deeply tongue-tied heart.

Rejected yet again I am forced to transfer the God I loved as a child to the lower case.

As my faith whithers I uneasily place the God admired beyond measure into a rarely opened surplus drawer.

My strength diminished I regard the desolate remains of my being.

-Johnny V.

Stranded

She has rejected, me infinite times. But it falls upon deafness.

My love is scaly with rust, and tarnished past repair. It is still strong as the instant of our first embrace.

I am helpless, for it is within her chilled edifice alone where I breathe.

Unable to depart, unable to refuse, weakened to my inner soul.

Strength enough only to await her next command. My heart knows it will never be uttered.

The red early December moon avows a frigid rain as it floods my deepest desires.

The final breeze passes it's mark, and not a single ember remains.

Stranded in the embrace and memories of love denied.

-Johnny V.

Broken Dreams

I take no joy as the sun peeks above the horizon, as it begins its daily walk.

Slowly it crosses the dry barren oasis once portrayed as my heart.

Her love storm appeared falsely, posing as a quiet gentle rain.

The sweet scent of lilacs and roses, her bitter temptation.

She turns and steps away as cold envelopes my very being.

The memory of warmth is as distant as the final star.

There is not a stir from the brutal deadly hounds guarding his lair, for they have memorized my scent.

I have exhausted long futile hours here, desperate for Lucifer's council begging to understand her needs.

But alas he is powerless to reach her way-ward soul, she is alone in her moral stance.

I am left to caress my lonely and shattered dreams of what never could have been.

-Johnny V.

Destruction

The first moment my eyes spied her I knew I was changed forever.

My love for her was unstoppable, my desire unbound.

Matched solely by the ache she would bestow.

This can only end in destruction, but I cannot walk away.

I'm forever her vassal,
her strength feeds upon my weakened flesh.

I've built her altar from the scars of a thousand lonely nights.

But still her rejection weighs on my spirit, like rumors of bad weather.

-Johnny V.

Her Striking Beauty

Her beauty has captured the souls of one and all.

Upon the moment of the initial assignation, they are forever changed.

The first touch and they cannot escape her powerful spell.

Never will I forget that first innocent glance. That primary yet fleeting embrace.

Her brown spiraled locks tumble gracefully upon her shoulders.

Her voice as soft as a silk handkerchief dropped to a newly waxed hardwood floor

Deep green eyes drink me in, but like the deceitful sea they will soon lead me to my demise.

She is quite skilled at using her beauty for her uninterrupted power.

-Johnny V.

Aspiration

The angels smile wanly at how gently I'm led astray.

The joy she improves from my pain is matched only by the pleasure I collect from her counterfeit love.

I plead for release but it's not granted.

She keeps me close, knowing that my loyalty may be sustained solely by her false promise.

She discerns that her every wish her unquenchable desire will be fully admitted.

She need only entice me with fanciful hope.

Hope not for what is given but for what is denied.

She will conceed me any longing, every compulsion, save one.

Never will she avow that single and perfect aspiration to touch her softness, to hold just for a moment her tenderness.

-Johnny V.

Her Stance

Her wide grin often holds back a troubled spirit.

Her courage is understood by a minute few.

Yet her fear is wider than the open sky.

But to surrender her eclispe would insult those to follow.

So she stands her place and allows nobody inside her regard.

-Johnny V.

Disguised

Her rejection cuts deeper than the surgeon's blade.

The swelling heart heals long before the injured soul.

The hidden scars much deeper in offense than those in the public sight.

Her unwillingness to understand the damage she has bestowed renders it both addictive and bitter sweet.

Quickly she ripens into a stranger's form, thus her rejection complete.

A noble guise indeed, but never shielded to my gaze.

My strength diminishing her manus cleaned she progresses beyond my clutch.

-Johnny V.

Cruelty

Her tender eyes and warm smile exist only to mask her cruel nature.

Her skill to turn her back and never look again is often a distinction, rarely a torment.

She is forgetful of the endless litter of mangled souls from her past.

I am helplessly drawn deep into her fold. I go eagerly without hesitation.

The anguish which awaits me had yet to penetrate my sanity. I endow her with my complete ipseity.

Her admiration for it is counterfeit, she hold it fast to her breast. I am dominated by her warmth.

Salvation is within in my perception, but she is deliberate to keep it just out of my grasp.

For should I escape even slightly unscathed would deeply deminish her pleasure.

-Johnny V.

Untitled

I long for the hope of a new day. But without fail the bedeviled sun sets plunging darkness upon me.

Her tender beauty is but the sole light in the pitch.

Her softness closes in and mocks my ignorant heart.

For she is blind to the endless strewn of wasted souls left in her wake.

I am one more captured spirit in her satchel of despair.

She arrives adorned in yesterday's mislaid memories. Yet her beauty is only enhanced.

She consumes my lonely passions, her smirk salient to all eyes but my own.

She will gladly feed on my bitter tears.

Her hunger complete, she maneuvers forward to her next wretched being.

-Johnny V.

Burns or Cuts

I have spent time balanced on the fringe of sanity.

Holding both fire and shank, confused between cuts and burns.

My heart beats for her luxury alone.

She draws closer, her warm sweet breath haunting my yet undreamt dreams.

She snatches away my poise and sufficiency. They rattle like false coins.

My future is damaged step by step as she strolls away.

Taking with her my deepest desires leaving my quality tear-filled and bloody.

-Johnny V.

Sorrow's Bed

The screeches of agony cry out from the darkness of my soul.

I awake to a bed soaked with sorrow.

My spirit is too weak to be sustained.

She looks deep into my pleading eyes.

Her nearness pierces my shivering substance.

Her denial sends forth my sung regrets.

-Johnny V.

Pride

Darkness defends my soul, and the Gods smile at my ignorance.

My insistence that one day her heart will accept me.

They know the deep scars imbedded in my wrists, the lonely physician's vials scattered upon my altar.

They have witnessed my useless tears, my misdirected anger, my shame.

And know in her iniquity, pride is the most outlying emotion.

Her Sharp and cruel Tallons have repeatedly pierced my heats scarlet flesh.

Again I return weaker, smaller, but hopeful that this reply will be different.

For nothing can change the certitude she will never belong to me.

-Johhny V.

Youth

Like the giant ancient redwood standing since ages past, I spy the young spring sapling peeking above the horizon.

Her beauty renews my fervor, but her youth leaves me desperate for her acceptance. I yearn to abide in the same spirit, the equal chilling edifice, just to breath the same stale air as this wonderous girl, and know her being.

This perfect form with rousing breasts, hair as dark as ripe wheat, hips that sway like a bell, and large eyes, as green as the calm seductive ocean.

My longing to just hold her is greater than the deepest pain I know. For since my eyes first met hers I have been unable to understand anything or anybody else.

But hence the world is full of the unquenched desires of old men for beauty such as hers. Because there can exist no aphrodisiac like innocence.

-Johnny V.

Satan's Fool

Lucifer smiles for he knows my weakness.

His lips part to a rotting blackness that once held fangs.

The scars upon my flesh prove my cowardice.

For since time began it has been his favorite prey.

As he extends his dark and damaged finger. I'm drawn closer to his cold altar.

I present my bloody scarred soul for payment but suddenly my power is renewed.

A realization of dismay cuts his face, as his gaze slices thru my soul.

I turn to view the brightness and kindness of my soulmate.

Her fearlessness is maddening to him, he freezes with doubt.

Without a word he understands that his minor prize is forfeited.

For claim of my essence has been her's long before he drew his primordial breath.

-Johnny V.

Solace

My soul howls in terror, as the demons desend on me.

But its pleas fall upon deaf ears.

They have been seeking me since time began.

For I alone understand their pain.

They find their comfort deep in my mind.

My darkness is their only solace.

-Johnny V.

Denial

I can no longer contain the yearning she forces upon my soul.

The scars ere only made deeper by the waiting.

My burning spirit longs for her cooling touch.

Her denial comes before my heart's desperate request.

My tears turn to mist in the cold ocean of her love.

Yet the deeper she cuts the stronger my desire.

-Johnny V.

God's Regret

The darkness consumes my very spirit.

As I tumble down I reach out for safety.

As with love, safety has long ago abandoned me.

I call out, my words are silenced. ... Regret runs scarlet thru my weak veins.

My soul cries out as the flames violently singe my flesh.

Laughing at my pain, the angels reject my pleas.

The light fades, and God is sorry for the part he has played in my demise.

-Johnny V.

My problem.

Sometimes the hardest person to understand is yourself. I have time and time again asked myself why I continue to get into the same situation. Why do you allow this to happen?

I continue to lead with my heart. Then as I realize how deeply I'm trapped I try to correct my actions. But there us no choice but to wait for my heart to break and end my torture only to begin a new pain.

So in my fear of this I love even harder. Ending in an obsession I am powerless to control.

-Johnny V.

My Captain

Her tender scent lingers long after her absence.

My desire for her embrace, chokes my spirit.

I'm am lost in my unending need for her seduction.

The silky touch of her lips, caress my damaged soul.

Before her altar I offer my bruised heart.

Filled with haste, she brushes it aside.
With tear stained eyes, I fall upon my knees.

For even the warmest desires grow cold in idle hands.

The rivers of blood run deep in my dreams.

I am the captain going under on her ship of fools.

-Johnny V.

Death's Call

I cannot see him, but know why he has come.

His icy frigid hand rests upon my shoulder.

I have known of my doom since I first experienced her soft eyes.

Her seductive breath has power over my resistance.

I cannot turn away, for long ago my soul made its fatal choice.

My undying love for her surpasses my eternal demise.

She is the misery I crave, I breath in her sight alone.

He is back to drag me to my long bitter struggle.

I am at ease, for it is less torture than a life of her love denied.

-Johnny V.

Winter's Tale

How often I've mourned the loss of her blood red lips.

For it is my unworthy pride that has released her.

Her porcelain skin, pale as the winter lake shore.

I have placed my fragile dreams beneath her tender soles.

She takes care to tread softly upon these passionless dreams.

Her quiet and gentle form crosses with the lightest touch.

Still her unwilling heart shuns my lilac scented desires.

Her beauty is above the highest peak, yet as warm as a tropics breeze.

My Passion to touch her goes unnoticed as my soul withers beside the truth.

-Johnny V.

Echoes

I spy her soft and gentle smile from across the sun.

The ache in my heart is unbearable.

Yet I'm pulled ever nearer, each step sealing my doom.

I can no longer stop, I cannot depart.

For she alone is my deadly addiction.

It consumes my soul until its hollowed echoes blind my ears.

-Johnny V.

Desert Sun

She is the single oasis in my dry existence.

Her eyes like the desert sun give, and use life within the same instant.

Each footprint in the burning sand takes my a moment closer to her.

I spy her innocent flesh sparkle on the horizon.

In a single breath I reveal my love and curse the sun.

I draw closer to her rose colored scent, overpowered by my sense of life.

At last I can reach for her perfection.

As I open the rusting door of my heart, she turns her back to me.

The tears come as quickly as the spring storm.

I turn but cannot depart.

Caged forever between freedom, and unwanted desire.

-Johnny V.

Cold, Cold Sea

She stands upon the frigid Dover cliffs.
Pulls closer to her breasts her favorite wool coat.
She looks out on the Atlantic the icy mist mixes with her sadness.

He steers his ship into the dark night.
The moonlight his only guide.
The sea called him when he was but a child.
Her blue eyes like a temptress has lead him to this fate.

For the sea must not be denied her due.
The waves crash across the bough, he understands his grip has ended.
As the freezing rain spots her love worn face, she feels the salty tears of loss.

-Johnny V.

My Prison

Her soul feeds and drains my strength.

She is the addiction I must possess.

Longing to caress her tender spirit.

I sacrifice my battle worn heart, just to be near.

Yet she will never belong to me.

I yearn to feel her soft lips, and taste her sweet breath.

Her gentle body calls me to my doom.

I go without regret.

For life within her denial surpasses one devoid of her voice.

-Johnny V.

Fire

Her fire is brutal and all consuming.

I am drawn to its intensity.

My flesh is beyond repair yet I cannot walk away.

The pleasure gives way to a pain past understanding.

I beg her to burn me deeper and take my remaining breath.

But as the comfort of death seems within sight she cools my pain.

I walk back to her embrace for its addiction is now my soul's only desire.

-Johnny V.

My diet.

I am starting a carb diet on Sunday. After the surgery I lost 40lbs. But it has leveled off. So I need to do something. I like the way I felt and looked. I really think I can do it. With the heart better I will be able to do more. Before if I tried even a little exercise I would get dizzy and out of breath. I want to be below or at 200 by May. It averages out to about 13-15 pounds a month. Wish me luck.

-Johnny V.

Torment

I know the demons from a lifetime before.

For fear has lost sight of my soul long ago.

I reach out for love but it eludes my grasp.

The cold muzzle leaves its mark on my temple.

He knows my courage is too weak to complete my task.

His laughter mocks my ignorance.

He cries out. "I am coming for you, as the last heat of the sun kisses the cool ocean look to me."

I smile for I believe my torment is done.

But his cruelty whispers loudly that it has only begun.

-Johnny V.

She

Her eyes are gentle windows into a struggled soul.
The softness of het skin, equaled only by spun silk.
Lilac and roses are its scent.
Her grace is as a butterfly's dance.
Her beauty is but once a lifetime.
I am forever drawn to her purity and her tender heart.
Lost in her eyes, and consumed by her warmth.
-Johnny V.

The Beauty of a Shell

Her smile reveals a beauty that surpasses explanation.

Her charm, her grace, demand love from those buzzing around her.

Her laugh can hault a sparrow's song.

Her eyes reveal a tender, yet troubled soul.

He hangs on her every breath, and
understands her needs before they come due.

She allows him into her fold.

He surrenders his heart completely.

She caresses it with a soft and gentle tone.

Yet it is returned unaccepted encased in friendship and love.

But with a heaviness he is unsure can be endured.

-Johnny V.